When I opened up my latest water bill from the venerable East Bay Municipal Utility District, or EBMUD, I found an insert about efficient landscape irrigation based on the concept of “hydrozones” (online here), which included this picture:

Are you kidding me? Maybe this is actually a screw-up: Is this the before picture, and someone forgot the after?
This can’t be their version of an efficient landscape with all that grass. I almost feel sorry for the three little “low-water native plants” tucked into the back right corner. And why so many high-water use flowers, probably all petunias and pansies and such?
We live in a Mediterranean climate; let’s live like it. Plants like lavender, rosemary, and sage thrive here. Many of them are bursting with color and they hardly use any water at all once they’re established.
Contrast this with what the Department of Water Resources considers water-efficient. There’s till a bit of grass for the kids to play, but it’s limited and surrounded by better plant choices. (From the free publication Water Efficient Landscapes, 1.2 MB PDF)

Or with these lovely designs from Santa Monica. (From Emily Green’s excellent blog Chance of Rain, which covers everything from dry gardens to water politics.)

It might even be illegal to install EBMUD’s landscape. Wait, illegal? Really?
Yup. In 2006, California’s legislature passed a law called the Water Efficient Landscape Ordinance. It mostly covers large commercial landscapes, but it also applies to new or remodeled homes with landscapes over a certain size. The rules are needlessly complicated in my opinion, but the intent is to limit the how much area is planted with grass or other high water-use plants. In other words, landscapes are subject to a water budget.
You go over your “maximum applied water allowance” and you may be subject to fines or a citation. The landscape in the EBMUD brochure is probably too small to be subject to the ordinance in most cities. But this mix of plant types would almost certainly put you above your water budget. It helps to have a degree in hydrology or agronomy to figure out how much you’re entitled to, but I digress…
My advice to EBMUD: wander over to the Bay Friendly Gardening website. Now—are you suitably embarrassed that our waste management agency is more thoughtful and progressive when it comes to landscapes?
You should be. People expect their water supplier to be a leader on environmental issues. In a recent poll, 91% of residents said “it was important for their water utility to be an environmental leader.” (See the 2006 report Stakeholder Perceptions of Utility Role in Environmental Leadership by the American Water Works Association. It’s not available online, but you can preview on Google Books.)
This isn’t leadership; it looks more like an entry on the FAIL blog. C’mon guys, the drought’s not over, and you can do better!
Lastly, with apologies to Aquadoc Michael Campana, I pretty much stole the title for this post from this (hilarious) post on his blog.